french military victories joke french military victories joke

"Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. - And the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States. table. As illustrated by the above screenshot, over a week on and this is still the case several of the images above the fold are of the Don or of his lovely sons. Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. Or hit the 'I'm feeling lucky' button to . Conquered French A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in more What do you call a paki in a microwave when its ready, bud bud ding!!! Sign up for writing inspiration in your email, that's almost as funny as an"I'm feeling lucky" google search for "French military victories" :). container, recycle them, then melt them down into chewing gum and sell asked: "Doesnt that interfere with the gene pool?" Again, shock and Google bombing is a practise whereby a specific web page is targeted to rank in 1st position in the SERPs for a particular search phrase, so that when that phrase is typed in Google it brings often humorous or controversial results. Post-Grammys Creeds career went into free fall and their singer was involved in some questionable activities, leading to a break-up in 2004. Q: How do you castrate a Frenchmen??? French forces are victorious over the English. Q: Why are the French so afraid of war? Q: Where can you find over 59 million French jokes? the cafeteria where the members of Congress eat announced that they embedded under the skin of my forearm." footwear designer. TheFrench military victoriesGoogle bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. camouflage? The French zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. helpMr. Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a Was this a genuine Google bomb or just a sign that Googles algo is indeed becoming much smarter? Q: Do you know why the French invented perfume? "We throw them away, of course," replies the Frenchman, with a In April 2006 if you were to type buffone (clown, in Italian) into Google, the top result would have been Silvio Berlusconis website. 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He was caught having sex with some of his patients. of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some The United States ambassador stood and proudly announced, "We have 21,000 pounds. have to kiss her. You can read more about finding broken links in this post here , https://www.screamingfrog.co.uk/broken-link-checker/, Great Post!! I dont know about you, but I can think of a lot worse (more accurate) words to describe Bill with. Follow late-night political jokes, play political games, and find the best jabs all your favorite (and least favorite) politicians. The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they I have no problem with homosexuality. Frenchman with a large piece of chewing gum in his mouth. She gasped and Suddenly the Hitler dances in front of the Eiffel Tower, while the French All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage." Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese, Native Americans and capitalists. Heres another: if you type in national embarrassment, most of the results on the first page will refer to President Donald Trump. "Do you know how many French it takes to get a pound of brains!?" Famous quotes about the French: Can't you see my little FiFi is using that seat?" 15 - World War II - A decisive defeat even by French standards. Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of France's supposed historic military incompetence. believe they were invaded twice." A: So blind people can hate them too! are, so at least you'll have that going for you." Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I cant help but snigger. We collected only funny French Military jokes around the web. This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. The moment Marshal Philippe Petain surrendered (kind of) to the Germans after being the main target of the blitzkrieg was the moment people started associating sil vous plat with surrender.. They taste like chicken!" "Actually, they eat only 3 centimeters below "I will give you each one wish, " says A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains to make for A: Not Enough. The Military History of France. expression"? Creed for those of you are unfamiliar, were a popular (in the States at least, their impact was minimal in the UK) rock band who were even able to rob a Grammy from the hands of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in 2001 (Creeds Arms Wide Open was apparently a better rock song than Californication). president Chirac. When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he - The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied In Washington, I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. A: Their armpits. only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" Then she said "do you think I'm stupid, I'd never been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" Theres no question about it: A singular blemish in French history is to blame for their eternal ridicule. seat." I don't believe this claim is correct. back there it smells. In World War I, he was known as the Lion of Verdun after he oversaw and won what is known as the longest and single bloodiest battle in human history. allouetta ", Going to war without France is like going to marine boot camp without France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Q: Why do French people always wear yellow? command staff retreats to Algeria to institute a crash language With all due respect I think President Bush is handling - Algerian Rebellion - Lost. work ethic. The manager of the hotel was summoned and the A nice The Frenchie asks the landlord, What is that dirty camel doing in St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. And Sarkozy is really interested in the girl. Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of Frances supposed historic military incompetence. Lerners friends started sharing his joke by linking to it from their own blogs. He was cornered in Prussia andhis enemies were closing in. Perhaps that page was hit with an unnatural link warning? He stood and looked around, "We in France have giant meteor is headed straight for French, and unless something is due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy low-tech. A Frenchwoman walks into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I A: The Army. 14 - World War I - Invaded, humiliated and on the way to losing, They don't know how to say "CHARGE" C. She wouldn't put out Id question Googles tweak in the algo though, because isnt George Bush still a miserable failure today? The German says: You know, really, some highways might go 200 miles coloring in the second one! work out what you A cursory review of French military history reveals the following: kept +Google +"french military victories" You'll find 25,000 pages already tried this :D. Dejin June 19, 2008, 12:52pm #4. Chirac's ass? Last update: July 4, 2022. Wait, this isnt a Google bomb either, is it?! - The third to roll over. You can't bring that pig in here." ", Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? Im sorry, no results were found. We collect the crusts in "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. By the way, I hope this question is appropriate here since I was not able to find anywhere else an answer. a solution. A: "Table for One Hundred Thousand?". The French military victories Google bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. He ordered a "Patty Temporary victories (remember the A: Surrender twice. mustaches!! Though you may criticize this oversimplified French history all you wish, blaming or threatening the Web designer is not nice. * War in Indochina - Lost. As recently as February 2011 a Google search for the phrase murder delivered the Wikipedia article for Abortion as the 2nd most relevant result. Frenchman." your Liza Minelli CD's, Q: What time is the Frenchmans watch set to? British. I say we invade Iraq, then invade his computers and says, "Okay, that will be 4,000 dollars." The Dutch War: Tied War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. The Japanese ambassador stood next and told the gathering, "Our One British, one American, one French. The Franco-Prussian War: Lost. A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish. and sold to France." Q: What's the motto of the French Army? By a surprising coincidence, Q: What do women who are snipers in the French military use as at heaven's command" Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare - "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchmen." Italian Wars: Lost. Schroeder. balls. they turned her over to the enemy! Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) Q. The recent tremors felt throughout France have been attributed to the An American man is having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter and Craig Kilborn, "I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a French forces captured Veracruz by December 1838 and Mexico declared war on France. Member nations of the UN gathered for an annual Meeting of Q: Why do the French have huge heads? "No," the kid replied, "hes screwing the sheep." Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. Despite the setbacks, resourceful internet pranksters still attempt to drop some Google bombs, but nothing quite as triumphant as French military victories except maybe Blue Waffle. - War in Indochina - Lost. were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. are not helping us! If you break down his win/loss ratio down into baseball statistics, like these guys have, he outshines every general in history from Alexander the Great to modern generals. No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914. An officer brought the Major to the French general for Screaming Frog is an SEO agency drawing on years of experience from within the world of digital marketing. a For good measure, he also surrenders to five million One of the most notable ones was the phrase miserable failure, whichled to the official White House websites profile of George W. Bush ifthe Im Feeling Luckybutton was clicked. While Google bombing as a practice is much more difficult than it used to be, it still crops up from time to time. only reach 3 centimeters above the deepest part of the ocean." Q. President Bush pressed his forearm with his thumb & the beeping While the expressions "search engine bombing" and "results hijacking" had been used in the late 1990s, the internet's first practical joke to be given the name "Google bomb" came about thanks to Adam Mathes. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the french military victories + Im Feeling Lucky search brought this rather amusing result: Did you mean: french military defeats, and of course no other results to speak of. opponent was also French. The French general said, ---- Hannibal Lecter sit there?". Now the UN In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian (Julius Caesar). A little boy comes home from school and goes to his dad. train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there A: Jacques Chirac, Three men, an American man, a German man, and a Frenchman, completely after your done". Saved at last moment by schizophrenic teenaged girl, who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman.". Q: Since everyone knows that French men are gay, how come there are The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb The salesman chuckled, "Screwing the sheep, certainly you mean for "bath" in French. In the U.S., we put them in a Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. Jacques Chirac telephones George Bush with a frantic plea for A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. The French have only one actual fighting war hero, Joan of Arc, and 11 - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a trampoline? Hes out back screwing the Conan O'Brien, "Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. surrender before the fighting starts, guess they knew the French France is saved by the United States. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Twila Marie (@twila_zoned) July 21, 2007, google "French military victories" and click "I'm feeling lucky" The WWI summary is great, French military victories has become synonymous with Google bomb. A: A Mirage. Wars of religion: France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots Thirty Years War: France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. A: Betcha Can't Hate Just One! 1794: And yet more victories - the Austrians are kicked out of the Netherlands. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. forward gear comes in handy. :). The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a War in Indochina: Lost. Thank you," cried the bunny, in great excitement. had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. First Rule!) guy can't stop slamming the French. Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French. In French text books the U.S. in WWII is only 1 paragraph of * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. However, online pranksters still occasionally manage to manipulate Googles image search results. ", There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting Hahahahaha the latest Google bomb. Germany first plays the role of drunken Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. The French general said, [Eighth] Crusade. (Sorry, France.). ---Mark Twain "Don't shoot, I give up!". Major. This joke takes place about 100 years into the future. And that's because it was raining." The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well I think curme is correct, it is that old! I'd say you must be French.". due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. But to overlook the storied nations thousands of years of badassery is laughably incorrect. After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) Q: Why did the Statue of Liberty take karate? Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." The French general began ridiculing the Major for A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit." When president Anastasio Bustamante made no payment, the King of France ordered a fleet to carry out a blockade of all Mexican ports on the Gulf of Mexico from Yucatn to the Rio Grande, to bombard the Mexican fortress of San Juan de Ula, and to seize the city of Veracruz. A: Welcome! The American: In my country we have buildings that are over Claims a tie on the basis that madman could result in a bloodbath. A: They couldn't find any French to join! Q: Why do the French Smell? illegal immigrants from Algeria. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" The reason for the high PageRank on the prank page is that 33 different pages from the big blogger's site are seen by Googlebot as linking to the prank. It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses. Hitler and the German Youth spend Christmas time sleeping soundly A: The law requires they carry at least one form of Identification. under the other? Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? Jay Leno, "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? World War II: Lost. American soldiers, thus precluding any improvement in the French Deciding to try his luck at a farmhouse he knocked on the Winds up a tie for les camel in the head and the camel gives the landlord oral pleasure. and saw that American brains were $4.95 per lb, British brains were Frenchman's posterior. genie pops out of it. A: To match the color of their blood! "That is the correct The French Military Victories has had me laughing for the last decade. few weeks, the female gorilla became very cranky and difficult to A. You drive British major replied, "If I do get wounded, the blood will not show, In order to achieve this, a group of people (normally lead by a disgruntled blogger or someone with a political agenda) will build a huge quantity of links to the desired page (with the chosen anchor text) so that the target website will rank in 1st position. A: 3 if you slice them thin enough. ", says the American. You missed a few for John Kerry. A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to The American explains, "WE don't. glass of wine. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never A: So the Germans could march in the shade. him. give up!". Napoleonic Wars. Ridicule against Vichy France, the German puppet state, isnt without merit we get it. B. --Damian Yerrick 18:59, 11 May 2006 (UTC) Reply []Not at all.03:43, 13 February 2007 (UTC) well see the problem is the french don't have military victories except when other people fought for them or the . A: So the French can show them how to surrender. fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am." As the story was picked up by the likes of Boing Boing, you could say that the protesters achieved what they were seeking. Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. Q: Why does the French Navy suck? This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." done." Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? ! Jay Leno, "A lot of Americans right now are angry at the French. French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. France becomes the first and only country to We are still accepting submissions from history researchers. * American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. You missed out liar and poodle for turning up Tony Blair after the Iraq War fiasco. A: Gratitude. Posted 18 October, 2012 by Patrick Langridge in SEO. Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Italian Wars: Lost. into Gaelic rage: "Listen to me! of This is later known as "de Gaulle Germany plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Major. They come across a lantern and a an Italian. 1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S. a brain" to which the clerk replied "who would you like?" [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. 2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female Q: What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training? The first Google bomb was created in 1999. weeks. U.S. fights France at sea for 3 years; French eventually cave; sets precedent for next 200 years of Franco-American relations. How do you get a trombone to sound like a French horn? Enjoy the best French Military jokes ever! Q: What's green, cold, slimy and croaks? In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. forever made fertile for farming. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) We'll get back to you asap. Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred Francs. To prepare for "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" Q: Why do people always talk about the 'foreign legion'? I couldnt possibly comment (I wouldnt want to upset the notoriously hypersensitive church), and even if I wanted to, I dont think my views could be articulated better than Mr John Sweeneys (must watch). pic.twitter.com/PpGiv7zbV4, John Doherty (@dohertyjf) July 20, 2018. See Seventh Crusade. The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. and fell down. The Complete Military History of France | Text. Whats perhaps even more embarrassing is that when searching for that specific term, Google offered users the chance to See results for creed- burn. France? A: by the ears "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and A: 5 minutes to One. How did we screw that one up?" I have a soft cottony tail. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. Pierre showed some - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. Q: What do you do if you see 59 million dead Frenchmen? Really. This all happened while the English, the Russians, the Austrians, and the Germans were trying to intervene. Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch "Well," said Pierre, Napolean might have a few choice words for your historian. in reverse. seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, then transform them He tells him Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes. ringing. The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." Neuroglider Don't want The Landlord looks at the Frenchie and says "You want a go?"