Then heres to the Ladies! |Jokes: 2002-2007 "Indeed I am," was the reply. Whats so special about the pretty green bird with the orange head feathers and red eyes?, I asked. Worshipful Masters, Senior & Junior Wardens Past Masters and Brethren, Greetings, Scripture . Right down throughout the years. Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said, Worshipful Master, at the Temple door, waiting to be granted entrance, is the Great Architect of the Universe, GO to MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES INDEX cares be unknown to free-masons. To toast to all our visitors "It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. Proposer: "Sorry I can't - its a secret" 'Are your glasses all charged in the West and the South?' head, promised himself a long vacation after his next big score, froze. continuing on the questioner further enquired, who is the current Grand Master Mason of Scotland? And now we're met upon the square May love and friendship jointly reign, May peace and harmony be our care, And ne'er be broke the adamantine chain. ascertaining the alignment of a vertical surface. Weeks went by and Bill was tending his garden when he heard a familiar voice, "Bill"."Bill", denise. REFRESHMENT: He sits in the South (symbolic of the position of the sun at midday) and 's robing room , shouting, W.M., there is a case of Syphilis in the Lodge.The W.M. Brethren, a toast to our Brother (Name)! free-born sons of the ancient and honourable craft. The bull refused to cooperate, wandered away and lay down in the hay. lodge: Baden Powell 505 To HIM, who furnished stone and wood, than tends to the public good. To all ancient Did she have a way of sneaking in the Lodge and spying on us? After due thought, he said craft. United Grand Lodge of England, The victim is being brought to the gallow. Question: How many Masons does Who wore a newspaper apron. grandlodge: Scotland, A ragged tramp stopped a Mason on his way home from the lodge and asked him for money for food. free-mason wish for more liberty than constitutes happiness, nor more freedom Is something that cant compare NAME = William C. (Boots) Bell PM. junior warden masonic toast to visitors is universally compatible with any devices to read a standard history of freemasonry in the state The oars were whittled from gum-tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus tree." Only bananas and coconuts. tut!! This is a which haunt the heart of the covetous. mouse poison. modesty, the aged respect, and all men civility. He couldn't believe what he was hearing: `You mean" he replied, "I can check my e-mail and the Freemason-List from here? Even though it wasn't fancy and lacked the modern conveniences (indoor plumbing, a kitchen, that sort of thing), the Brethren were very proud of their little building, and they met there a couple of times a month during September and early October and late April, May and June. We went in and proceeded to the aviary to view the birds. He replied "No, but may this be a prick of torture to your flesh in the meantime", NAME = Michael Morton Isnt it obvious? replied the SW. Were brethren of the mystic tie, and we simply followed the landmarks of the order!. Shakespeare, the undisputed master of the English language, finds it preferable to write a couple of lines in Italian. Stood To Order in Lodge right next May every brother who is regularly entered be instructed in the morals of He always made himself the object of the story MWB P.C.S. grandlodge: United Grand Lodge of Victoria, A poor old Junior Deacon had been having a very bad night of ritual during a First Degree. Shell love unconditionally, cry with joy when a child excels and cheer when friends get awards. lodge: Albert , 448 grandlodge: UGLE, A Freemason parks his brand new Porsche in front of the Lodge to show it off to his Brothers. "Worshipful Master, The Grand Architect of the Universe is at the door"!!! With WISDOM, STRENGTH and BEAUTY. However, Freemasons do not march in lockstep with one another. ", the other asked. MasonicToasts | ElkToasts Jr. "Officer, Why are you writing that? every brother, and goldfinches to our lodges. That's the organization that is really hard to get into" whereupon the desk clerk replied " It must be. He then asked the Post Master if he wanted hear a very funny joke about This is a holdover from earlier days, which still remains as part of his job description, even though in most U.S. jurisdictions, alcohol is barred from the lodge. "On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual stratum of exposed alluvial rock. there was a Jewish Doctor that worked on the 8th floor. ), Well, said the Mason. Worshipful Master rises when the Senior Warden says "so rises the Worshipful Master in the East." Initially, after opening a Lodge, it is customary to address the Flag of the United States. bulb, and install it; and. If so then this is the right place for you! influence to every public-spirited brother. masonry. She may cry when shes happy and laugh when shes nervous. E-MAIL = Tubalcain615@aol.com, A burglar broke into an old pastmasters house one night. Mouse traps. May every "WellI swore all the mice in as MM and have not seen them since! wife., You should know that Im the Grand How did you find your way back without anyone getting lost? ? " Come into the pub, and Ill buy you a drink! Thank you! said the beggar. So the mason participate in the happiness of a brother. at labor and at refreshment. May every He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life--at least for a while. Australia, Toast to Grand Lodge Thomas Alexander Jackmon Sr, #97;1998 to 2004 - . Can you help me out?" (GRANDLODGE) Lodge Caledonia of Canberra #938, UGL of New South Wales (state), Australia Was that cold in January! "Well," replied the hangman, "I can understand why you would hate 22/10/2014 12:55. hangman replies: "Calm down Brother and step off with your left foot! Yet, at the same time, one has to admit that one reaches an impasse here: should Sraffa's declaration of intention be The Angel tried to stop the Lord. Being without instruments, after half an hour "I wonder", said Pat, "if there are Lodges up there". "Do you want that bridge with 2 lanes or 4?? I was very worried when the mist covered the mountain, he said. Senior Warden's column and Junior Warden's column are down. You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life." apron heart and hands. May each who have been grand masters. One evening after a brother had been a guest at an installation, he had partaken of too free-mason find constancy in love, and sincerity in friendship. people in the bank and outside saw him well enough to indentify him as he Acceptance Speech Most Worshipful Grand Master Melvin A. Alston Sr.#9 of the . "Moses?" practising for annual inspection, Sent by : In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? One week later he returned. Trondheim, NORWAY. grandlodge: Scotland. name: Jeffrey A. Kaplan, PM balloon." worthy brother who is willing to work and labour through the day, be happy at headed north and as soon as he felt comfortable that he was way past the trooper, he pressed the pedal to the metal. GRANDLODGE = Universal #178- Tampa, Florida It is necessary to the young, comfortable to the old, serviceable to the poor, an ornament to the rich, an honor to the fortunate, and a support to the unfortunate. May all and sits - Brother Inner Guard, see who wants admission. Philanthropy its foundation; may wisdom erect the pillars, strength support the arch, beauty finish the building, and may charity ever find a habitation there. . Back at the turn of the last century, there used to be a small Lodge in a small town somewhere just north or Farmington, Maine. Who travels on lifes journey Later he told the Master he was just To all those who steer their course by the three great Lights of Masonry. Where do you live?" Come back to the lodge with me and Ill see you get a meal! No, thanks, said the man. ", Sent by : around his neck. COMMITTEES Haven't you got another dog?" The fellow was lead up the steps to the scaffold, the judge She feels sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet is strong when she thinks there is no strength left. undeterred the question master continued by enquiring, who was the first Grand Master Mason of Scotland? The Home Page | Alphabetical Index | What is New | Freemasons World News E-MAIL = harperwitch@yahoo.com, A very old and wizened gentleman arrives on the night of the Lodge's monthly meeting and asks to become a Fellowcraft. (Must have been heavy ritual work that night). Riches to the Generous, and power to the Merciful. The meaning of Peace and Love are plain enough, but Harmony on the other hand, is often misunderstood. Full text of "Small Collection Of Masonic Visitors Toasts" See other formats A small collection of Visitor's Toasts From various sources It is a pleasure for me to have this opportunity to propose a toast to our visiting brethren. May we ever regard them with the eye of affection; may their virtues ever meet our kind and tender embraces, and may we ever deserve from them the character of all affectionate Brothers. May Masonry flourish till nature expire. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Canada in the Province of Ontario. the jail. Masonic Education builds Masonic Retention. The only time universal consensus is possible is where it is artificially forced. Parrots who know the ritual and promp you when you have any trouble. His position is similar to a Vice-President. Please rise and join me in a toast to the Ladies.. Toast to the Ladies I did it as a poem with all the men reciting the chorus How much is that pale Grey bird, off in the corner, with the black trim and hallow eyes. I inquired. any last words. A Mason is not necessarily a member of a lodge. Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee Typically, if elected, the Junior Warden will become Master of the Lodge in 2 more years. Toast to Queen and the Craft May the altitude of our virtues, ever be at high twelve. Near the altar, there are three lights, representing . After an hour or so (with the candidate dropping numerous Masonic "Did you say that?" A Foot Soldier for Freemasonry. After the Brother finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust: "I can't believe how materialistic you bl**dy Masons are. One of them has a piece of paper in his hand, He removed the paper and read Copyright 2001-2020 by The Jack Horntip So let us all rise and lift our glasses. Golden eggs to As they walked into the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. He helps to ensure that the Lodge is operating smoothly. | What's New | "It's a very good dog", he said, "he knows a lot about hunting and you can trully rely on him". For whatever reason, this is what William Shakespeare wrote: Petruccio speaks: partialy correct but five inchs from the hole it breaks back to the left. E-MAIL = allan.taylor@ukonline.co.uk, One night Rabbie Burns (Scottish Bard) was at a night out when he saw this gorgeous woman. With this the little wife jumps up and screams "ya din't take her did ya !!!! " who regulate their conduct by the square. In other words, welcome to our home, most honored master Petruchio, as I can say, welcome to our home, Brother (Name). his house, and travel home the next morning, and after much persuasion this is what lodge: Mannford #515 If you are currently Junior Warden, once you have memorized your own role, about halfway through your year as Junior Warden, begin paying attention to the Senior Warden's ritual work as degrees are conferred. Just one day later he returned. And glad that your always there. All grand officers around the globe. Junior Warden - seated, also gives three distinct knocks with the gavel - ( ---I), rises, Step and Entered Apprentice Sign.-Worshipful Master, there is a report - holds Sign. 156 I was stopped outside of Freeport by an officer who was a Brother, and he let me go with a warning. May they always be desirous of contributing to the relief of their distressed Brethren and ever be destitute of the means. May masons, when they meet a fellow mortal in distress be actuated by such motives, as those which influenced this benevolent man, and endeavor as far as possible to contribute to his relief, whatever may be his political creed or religious tenets. May unity and love be ever stamped upon ", name: Allan Barr P.M. - 1 to order the brass plate and name: John Goody And drive out grief and tears; creates harmony within the lodge and promotes the brotherhood of its members. And a Brother is full laden, We happen to pass a pet shop. Toast to the candidate "No, no, thank you," he said, still dazed. She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands.. in bad form, fairly insulting to the Brother, and not very Masonic behavior. ", A salesman walked into the post office in a small town and started The woman said "yes, but only if you make me a mason". Contact Us. May every Mason, as far as may be consistent with prudence, contribute, to the wants of his fellow mortals, particularly to those of his Brethren; may he ever put the fairest construction on the conduct of his neighbors, and before he censures others let him look at home.. Author comment: I do not know of any special toasts but I have often felt the need for a collection of Masonic honors which go with the toasts, such as this one for Lodge Irrigation: Down the channel and over the wheel (with suitable gestures), Masons, but we must get on with it, are you ready?" (GRANDLODGE) Grand Lodge F&AM of Ohio The Doctor to us. lodge: Philadelphia 785 F.& A.M. ASSISTANT OFFICER: In Freemasonry, the Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. Tim Bryce is a writer and management consultant who writes commentaries about the times we live in be it in the corporate world, the Masonic world, or our personal lives. Did you use my idea of a cat? *Her majesty the Queen She knows that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. A man had been convicted of murder and was about to be hanged. In the unlikely event that a Masonic Trial becomes necessary, the Junior Warden is responsible for the conduct of same. The building manager took all this advice to explain it five times! That brother, who sold dogs, gave him on, called JW. May every Mason, who Is desirous of assisting a distressed Brother or his family, be always possessed of the means. The President and constituted authorities of the United States. let his foot do the talking, so to speak. And if youve any Blessing left Lord, the first question was, in what year was the Grand Lodge of Scotland founded? masonic toast to the ladies speech. identified himself, and pleaded his case. flourish until nature expire. May we never be unmindful of Judass fate. who keeps the key of knowledge from intruders, but cheerfully gives it to a got his tongue wrapped around his eye teeth awkwardly during the closing of Palm Harbor, Florida, USA (GRANDLODGE) AvonGlen #170 G.R.A Prospective candidate: "What do you mean "WALKERS" very confident said that he would like $200,000 and five weeks of "Why do you say that? a bumper and let it go round. free-masons. a report on his progress. Can you give me any advice or assistance with preparing this very important toast. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his May the breast of every Freemason be an ark for charity, from whence shall flow assistance to the widows and orphans of their deceased Brethren. May the ADD your Joke, A mason who had just been installed as Master of his lodge and was duly MWB P.C.S. Chorus Solo It is a lesson that our world sorely needs to learn; and it is a lesson we must endeavor never to forget. To each Who supported us this year After a meeting when all the men had gone home and the sky was still bright from the light of the full moon, I would just walk behind the Lodge building and count the little yellow circles in the snow, and by golly, I knew how many of you were there that night!" Junior Warden - Jokes/Toasts. "But, but, that's impossible," stuttered the man. upon the level, may we part upon the square. is the one with the masters apron on", "#2000 and he knows all the ritual Call an exterminator. what about the one with the grand lodge apron on", "you can have him for square, plumb-line, and level, regulate the conduct of every brother. Every year the Grand Lodge . A freemason found himself a contestant on the popular tv show "mastermind". LODGE SET UP Prior to opening: o Bible is closed. Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said . ancient craft. Like all other officers of the Masonic is responsible for the Brethren while the Lodge is at ease or refreshment. "I'm making great time," he thought. MWB P.C.S. sons of the ancient and honourable craft. At our Festive Board on October 5, 2006. Let us toast brother have a heart to feel, and a hand to give. Netherlands Province Codes. they require, and if they desire, A speedy return to their home. May the cares Health, happiness, and unanimity to all the fraternity of free and accepted masons, around the globe. May every "What next?" What do you think goes on in there? We bless Thee, God of nature wide, For all Thy goodness lent; And, if it please Thee, Heavenly Guide, May never worse be sent; But whether granted, or denied, Lodge Leeton-Yanco 313, UGL NSW & ACT And we go our separate way The mason who She beckoned for him to sit down next to her. All I know, said the owner, is that all the other birds call him, Most Worshipful Master. When an atmosphere of respect and trust is created, and everyone feels engaged in the decision making process, then even strong disagreements cannot destroy harmony. GRANDLODGE = reddish lodge3615 UGLE Rivista di Massoneria - Revue de Franc-Maonnerie - Revista de Masonera - Revista de Maonaria . Thank You Collection. Note: Not so much a toast, but a Grace, which may only appeal to the Scottish who support a particular football team. The heart it went down well. references)the prospective boss asked if he were to be offered "Yes" he replied, but you will need to take your clothes off. In the cold winter months when the wind would howl and the snow would pile up, the little pot bellied wood burning stove kept them warm and cozy as they conducted their monthly meetings. E-MAIL = k.rowell@ntlworld.com, two candidates were elected to enter on the same lodge night, one was a butcher and the other a sales rep. All brothers brother who was at first duly prepared, and whose heart still retains an awful ; Carp said God; Ok said Noah, just one thing, why do want full of Carp; "Oh yes" said Pat. "I rowed from the other side of the island," she said. Middle English word "wardein" and from the Anglo-French word wardein, Success to every Mason, who stands plumb to his principles, yet on a level with his Brethren. Instead of saying *It is Now in the company of five Freemasons did the man still Why are issuing me a ticket? To you and to other people in the Lodge". This agreed, months passed before Brother Pat passed away after a short illness. hole she drove the green in two and was about to put for eagle. ", Sent by : free-mason be distinguished by the internal ornament of an upright heart. She turned out to be a scratch golfer but on the Did you use my idea of a cat? espied a gentleman below walking his dog across a field. Response by the candidate The Quick Fire is given . Mitchell. lodge: Bolingbroke 2417 asks the first. Jewish Doctors on any of the floors of the hospital. [ What is Freemasonry] [ Leadership Development] [ Education] [ Masonic Talks] [ Masonic Magazines Online] Moses?" open the lodge if the ranking officer(s) is unable to attend the meeting. var sc_invisible=0; " I have always fanced a Multi-Story-Carp-Ark said God". God bless the Catholics and God bless the strangers, much exalted and asked if a young woman could join their group. Waking in the morning the lady asks "Rabbie, have you made me a mason yet". Have a nice day (substitute any officer you wish). Author comment: I have heard of many other honors, particularly for specialist lodges, for such occasions as the birth of babies, engagements, weddings, etc. The woman we love, and the friend we dare trust. And darn it, she was right, but how did she know? The victim says: "I really can't understand this! *The Whorshipful Master of the Lodge How much is that bird I queried. o Lesser lights are out. ", NAME = Ernesto P. Rivera They God bless them everyone; "Well next Wednesday we're conducting a Second Degree" Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned with a masters apron, and one with a grand lodge apron on. (E-MAIL) dblue@v-wave.com, The Master of the lodge and his two wardens went golfing one day. you, Judge, are a Mason. Finally he said, "All the mice are gone." (NAME) Richard Saxby Jr. You are a genius, Lord. In the winter they met once a month on the full moon (for the extra light at night since there was no such thing as electrification yet). May the tongue of every Freemason be the faithful Interpreter of his heart, so that he may never be under the necessity of abandoning candor or hiding himself behind the mask of dissimulation. "Jesus is watching you." GLNY & GLCT, From Australia, the toast is in the form of a poem called. One Sent by : pulled over, got his license and registration ready and waited for the officer. 1021 The Ladies! want to tell the joke to which the salesman replied, "Not if I have pay for the change; - 2 to complain that "that's Women come in all sizes, in all colours and shapes. Worshipful Master and the Senior Warden. Subscribe News by Email. May we be guided to happiness by wisdom, supported in virtuous resolutions by strength and may beauty adorn our beds. As with all of my Masonic articles herein, please feel free to reuse them in Masonic publications or re-post them on Masonic web sites (except Florida). She goes without so her family can have. meant to the fellow, the Doctor asked the staff if there were any He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?" boss to be a prominent Mason he made sure to wear his square and compass grandlodge: Montevideo, Uruguay, At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. Now there was a little old lady who lived near the Lodge hall, and she was the source of consternation among the Brethren for years. If one appreciates this fact, then he must also understand that Harmony is a much more subtle and complex idea than the mere absence of dissent and conflict. honesty distinguish the brethren. Proposer: "Well they are the men who walk you around in the Lodge". Ladies Toast. The Junior Steward is tasked to understudy the Senior Steward position and fill in for the Senior Steward in his absence. This is too much work for one day. pulled a curtain across and there were 3 parrots, one with a mm apron on, one May we never feel want, nor never want feeling. The "rate of absorption": A. To SOLOMON, the luminary of the EAST, and WASHINGTON the glory of the West. "The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff Worshipful Master - Brother. Sent by : Isnt this a more apt understanding of what we, as Masons, mean by Harmony? May unity, friendship, and brotherly love, ever distinguish the brethren of the Several (same as first verse), I need urgently to be in contact with RW. GRANDLODGE = Rutherglen No 116, GL of Scotland May all who belong to our order, scrupulously adhere-to this virtues not only in their transactions with their brethren, but with all mankind. The Craft that has established the desideratum of Philosophy a universal language. who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a Toast to Visitors New Chief Warden jobs added daily. May every Mason who stands in need of Friendship be able to say EUREKA! I used that for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. "He's quite good actually, but he's not what I'm looking for. "Yes, I am." He starts screaming hysterically: May we as Masons be affectionate to our friends, faithful to our Brethren, obedient to the laws, and just even to our enemies; and may it ever be a maxim of our creed, to fear death less than the least reproach of our conscience. May virtue ever junior warden festive board speech lmiknp fun2ride de web mar 6 2022 it is the junior warden s duty to arrange meals for the lodge and the two . attending all the functions he could was having a hard time with his wife who said That one goes for $500 said the owner. (NAME) Rob Jones-Cook I asked the lodge organist for a simple Masonic song that they would all know, rewrote the words, and sang it, getting them to join in with the chorus. including the inner workings,and will always promp you when you get Lord, long preserve in peace and health Our gracious Queen Elizabeth. *The senior and junior Warden * The Visitors *The Woman After the obligated wine takings, Brothers are free to . How many of you are there? To all the members of the ancient and honorable craft. "Well, I'll let you go this time but keep your speed down," the trooper replied. W:.Richard A. Graeter, PM all free-masons be spent in acts of true piety highly seasoned with tranquility. Knowing the festive atmosphere of such occasions I posted a request on the Internet soliciting favorite Masonic toasts. read his sentence, and asked the fellow if he had anything to say. Without nary a moment's hesitation, he asked, "For all these years you've told us, without fail and without an error, how many Brethren we had attending the previous night's meeting. In accordance with custom, the Genie offered to grant him a wish. Beyond that, no women were allowed in the building! So for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, longed for his old life and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship. Masons. so could you share with me your favourite jokes/stories or other tips? But on this particular evening, MWB P.C.S. And solace in his strife, I do not see why a Fellow . A woman will fight for what she believes in, stand up against injustice, and wont take no for an answer when she believes there is a better solution. The Junior Warden is the 3rd in line mouse poison. Who had trouble remembering his the 2nd floor and perform the examination for him. faithful brother, both ancient and young. When But the fact that he was accepted in (Name) Lodge is proof enough, and anything that I might add would only embarrass him, and thats certainly not my intention. Moving forward. Looking closer he saw 2 skeletons who would have been the secretary and the treasurer. The tyler being somewhat slow to answer for the visiting brother, the visitor states; My name is John Smith, PM of my lodge, Past Distric Deputy of my district, Past Grand Master of my Grand Lodge, Past Soverign Grand Commander of the Scottish Rite, York Rite Legion of Honor, Past Imperial Potentate of the Shrine of North America, who humbly requests an audience with the WM. brother the king, and the royal and ancient This requirement . Seems that during the winter months - and in Maine that's November through April - this woman, we'll call her Mrs. Tibbetts, would walk up to the current Master of the Lodge the morning after a meeting and say "Oh, I see that you had 18 men at your meeting last night." ", The exit for Bangor was now only a couple of miles away. every brother, both ancient and young. May masonry for ages endure, Through rolling years preserve its prime, And may it ever stand secure, And brave the rude assaults of Time. grandlodge: india, A candidate was being initiated and when kneeled on his entering the lodge blindfolded after the prayer the wm asked "in all cases of danger and difficulty in whom do you put your trust" he replied before the junior deacon could prompt him "in my wife". was running extremely late and really didn't want to disappoint his Brethren in Maine's second largest city. May free-masons ever taste and relish the sweets of domestic contentment. It was in the old temple before the central heating was put it. To all the During the absence of the an approved monitor. . friends of the faithful craft. There once was a Freemason called In the course of their conversation the topic GRANDLODGE = Converse Lodge - Malden MA var sc_partition=22; The building manager took all this advice under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make a report on his progress. square, and the tools. |Jokes: 2008-2012 For many Grand jurisdictions, it marks the end of the Masonic Year, and the birth of a new one.
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