What could go wrong? It's definitely a better reply than the standard, "I'm fine.". 4. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. At the end of the day, if theyre not putting in the effort to let you know theyre not interested, theyre probably not worth your time. People tend to ask the same questions whenever you see them, which is why you should have a few different replies to "How are you?" 94. 85. Image: wikimedia commons 6. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. 12. "Yeah, you're three years late. No, waitIm actually plural. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. 4. WHY!? Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." Because youre highly qualified. If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. I cant even afford to feed myself! Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart . Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. Just Smile And Nod Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. Follow for more funny content!! Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. Although for some, traveling to your partner might not be an option. My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. I'm used to it, anyway. Heart-shattering. Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? Nothing that you probably cant figure out if you tried. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. Mark Twain (author), "I like sleeping; it's like death without the commitment." Im sorry I hurt your feelings. Im always there when I need me. If I had a tail, I'd wag it. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! Because Jamaican me crazy! Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! A little bit worse now that youve asked. But, they will grow up into a dog. This person is taking so long to reply, you will be waiting for geology to change before you get one. There is no gray area (<brain matter joke): either you are brain-dead or you are not. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? Is it your job to spread ignorance? How are you? Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. I dont tell you how to live your life, dont tell me how to live mine thanks. Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. 28. Finnish with this conversation! Im jealous of people who dont know you. Did someone leave your cage open? How Am I Still Alive. Oh, well 8. You should really come with a warning label. Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. I only fall in love with anime characters. Thats because Im still waiting for you. Haha basically a sassy way to say, "I'm still alive." His songs often parodied popular musical forms, though they usually had original melodies. (Explained). Happy, and I know it. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. There are many other euphemisms you could use, though: Still ticking. Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. What an impertinent question to ask a girl! 18. Everyone always thinks being asked how you are means your health or a general standing-but what about if it isn't? But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. 3. parkerbilly 3 yr. ago. 16. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. still alive 810 GIFs. Reply. You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. 5. Youre free to go. This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. #fyp #basketball #viral #fyp #viralvideo #funny #comedy". My guardian angel be like 2. Funny give back answer for who are your ex boyfriends? Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! It lets him know that you love spending time together. I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. 83. The best I can be. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. The only thing offending me right now is your face. Keep talking. Are you going to marry me? Cookie Notice Thats why Im rooting for your penis. Oh, what a long list. Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". If I was doing any better, I would hire you to enjoy it with me. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! 100. I havent met the right one yet. 1. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. (Use a sexy tone). So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. 6. 32. Because apparently, you need to go outside and talk to people to date. I hope you like some of them. 37. Could be payday. 38. Shane from The L Word? 7. Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. Hemali Adhiya, ICF Certified Relationship Coach, Expertise: Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. I was actually talking to my friend". But, you should know that, I don't like you, already. Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" Ah, sarcasm. Sometimes, being emotional stops us from replying to the messages of others. I cant afford to die; Id lose too much money. George Burns (comedian), I do not fear death. To text, most of us need our thumbs. This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. Whats with all these questions? 13. The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. Paul Levesque (Triple H), pro wrestler & VP at WWE "It's funny now because I'm kind of in this weird kind of combo twilight zone of the last bits of my in-ring . Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. Now you can be! I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. Better inside than outside. You have an old soul. Holy s**t, you can see me?! The answer is simple. Because they are already taking their time. WHAT DID THEY SAY?? It is a basic courtesy that when one of your leads converts to a paying customer, you demonstrate your gratitude and make their transfer as smooth as possible. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. 75. Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. This answer is correct because the best responses to "how are you" should contain an adverb. 2. In fact, they're taking too much of it. Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? So the next time someone asks you why you're still. Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. Youre not going to use the same response to your dad as you would your best friend, right? #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. Feel my shirt. I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. 9. How do you usually respond to the question? Synonyms for Still Alive (other words and phrases for Still Alive). Tell her that you're there for her to make her laugh, if she needs some company. Most of the time, that is not true. 2. The music billboard charts got it wrong! Dont get caught with nothing to say. It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. Aeldrion 5 yr. ago. 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? (Say it like he or. 3. Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. This is another funny response that you can use to say that you did a little something different this morning. It could be raining men, and Id still be single. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. 41. If this is the person youre talking to, just insure them that you are aware they are not away from their phone. response, because I need clarity in my interactions. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! 39. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! How did you get here? Share the best GIFs now >>> Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. 22. What? If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. Once youre dead, youre made for life. Jimi Hendrix (musician), Death will be a great relief, no more interviews. Katharine Hepburn (actress), Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men. Herodotus (historian), You know youre old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope (comedian), Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. EW Howe (author), There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing. This was one of the quickest ways there was to send a message from one person to another. Yup, I dont share it. Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. Canva. Youre a ground-hugger. Read more about Martin here. 11. Just look what happened there! Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! How to respond to an ex asking how you are? [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. 87. No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. "You know I can do this anytime.". Read about the differences between burning alive, staying alive and being dead or alive as we explore the many ways of keeping ourselves in the land of the living. Is everything stable at your end? 43. Socioeconomically? She is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. Despite not being the most popular topic of conversation, the concept of death has inspired quite a few clever and insightful sayings over the years. If they take several days to talk to you again, thats a sign that either they dont want to talk to you, or, they were so dirty that its taken them that song to shower. Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. Going strong. 31. Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. Wondering How You Are 1 I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. We cant always get what we want now, can we? Every civilisation has its genesis and its conclusion. All our lives, we were taught to follow our passion. 6. A real low-life. Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. As for me, I cant even afford honey! That's impossible. How are you? could be much more than a basic question, but we tend to stick to the same old, half-hearted responses. 14. 1. Dont wake me up yet. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. I am not looking for anyone, and neither is anyone looking for me. 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. It looks a little too clingy and hard to maintain. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. At minding my own business? Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! Conspiracy theorist group QAnon hit a bizarre milestone on Tuesday, when its supporters gathered for what they believed would be the return of the late JFK junior - who, they postured, would be. 9. Voice command: Alexa, define rock paper scissors lizard Spock. Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. Im not single. So, how does average sound? Because if you are, youre doing it right. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. On the plus side, a little humor injected into someones day can have a positive impact on their otherwise average day! Who told you that? Hopefully, not as good as I will ever be. Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! Youre like Monday: no one likes you. The following two tabs change content below. Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. Socioeconomically? Youll go far someday. Shooting yourself in front of the person who asked. But, if they were, it would be a valid reason for them taking so long to reply. Maybe they like you so much that it triggered some kind of reaction that ended their life. (Wriggle your hips), Oh, stop it, will you? Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. 5 Opening Texts She HAS to Respond To (And Why) 1) "Hey, it's that really charming, irresistible guy from last night" 2) "How's your week looking? Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. Not everybody may appreciate them. If this doesnt cause them to reply, then maybe you should rethink your friendship with this person. ", This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. For instance, have you hooked up since you've broken up? As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty. But still, some people will try to satisfy their curiosity and meddle with your personal life. Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. But half the time, it is a nightmare. For your information, Im in a relationship with food. Pick your struggle. 45. 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. I really thought you already knew. Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. Best 45 seconds of my life. Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. They were not expecting someone so wonderful to talk to them. As a result, they were so fixated on thinking about you, they forgot to reply to you. So, you changed your mind? You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I'm not Hal and we're not in space. Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. Why do you ask? Theres this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didnt hear the question. We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. If I had a tail, I would wag it! 69. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. Not bad. You are shocked by his/her response, and you respond angrily "but what about me?". No one loves superheroes. Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. but that was before I read Fred's comment below. Hence, you may need to put in some effort to keep the conversation flowing. Is It A Bad Idea To Lose My Virginity To An Old Crush? 10. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? Alexa's response: No, that's not true. Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. For example, if it is a friend, you can be funny or witty. 73. Brilliant! Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? *sips wine/tea*. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". Funny responses to "How are you?" Photo courtesy of Canva. Someone took their costume way too seriously. This one is funny when you havent said anything. Id rather have a doughnut on my finger than a real ring. You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. Stop joking! But, because they have taken so long to reply, you have grown older and wiser. Feeling confident? To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. 1. I had promised myself I would murder the next person who asked me that question. *wink*. Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. 19. This is perhaps not for the faint-hearted. It could always have been worse. It's best part of the whole movie. If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. 11. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. Siri, why am I still single? If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. She works with her clients to help them evolve in their problem areas and find new meaning in their lives, thus finding the best versions of themselves. Me being single is just a conspiracy! I dont know. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! If you're brain-dead, you're dead. That's boyfriend material. The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. Nowadays, potential mates need money. Because I prefer the company of dogs/cats rather than humans. You don't need to say it. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. 18. I dont blame you, Ive had it up to my neck with annoying, repetitive, shallow everyday questions and I often respond with something funny, silly, or sarcastic to make it known. To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. . Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . . Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. Were already married, remember?! 20. Not so much. 62. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? Mentally? Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. "I'm alright, mate". Another common excuse that younger people tend to give when they take a long time to reply is Ive been busy with uni. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. 53. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. This one kills me! If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level.